Is Debt Reduction the new Green?

Nancy Pelosi will lose her G5 broom under John Boehner's leadership -he'll fly commercial. The Tea Party's new congressional members are calling for deep cuts in spending. There are even a few hardcore Global Warming believing, polar bear hugging, Cap and Tradeors© that have begun to make noises in that direction.

So what does it mean? Hell if I know. But maybe, just maybe, it's a sign that Saving Green is the New Going Green© . 

Jump ahead a few months, and we may see government officials rushing to gain righteousness through austerity. The next one-upsmanship may involve bragging about how much money they saved the taxpayer.

In the House cloak room

Congressman (R): "I rode my bike in here this morning instead of taking my chauffeur driven car. It shows that I get it."

Congressman (D):  "Well I can top that. I just cut my staff by one person."

Congressman (R):  "Not bad, but I'm co-writing a Bill that will slash our chamber's electric cost by mandating that at least half the lights always be off. That's going to save a lot more than you cutting one staffer." 

Congressman (D):  "Whatever. We Democrats have been passing legislation in the dark for years."

Congressman (R):  "Yeah... Well, I guess that makes me a superior Save Green person."

Congressman (D):  "Hold on. Even better than printing on both sides, I'm saving paper in the Congressional Washroom by using both sides of the toilet paper. So there."

Congressman (R): "....Uh... You win."


Saving Green is the New Going Green  and Cap and Tradeors are the exclusive intellectual property of Les James. I don't care that he's not a real person. He still has rights. Like the right to vote.     

Tea Party: It's a little known fact

In a bar in Boston, a postman expounds on the history of the first Tea Party. He explains -to the chagrin of those within earshot- that pissed-off patriots dressed as Mohawk Indians, boarded a ship in that city's harbor and dumped tea into the cold waters.

Today, pissed-off patriots are entering voting booths and are dumping incumbents. The Tea Party isn't interested in a Big Tent. They're looking for a much smaller enclosure. Maybe something far more traditional, something that fits the spirit of first Tea Party.

Hummmm. How about a "T"ea "P"arty "T"ee "P"ee?

Tea Party Physics... kinda

The Tea Party is a movement, and movements require a force to move. I believe this force is the Democrat Party. And who best represents the Dems? Why Barack "The Hussein" Obama, of course.

This movement can be felt in our very cores. It's a gut reaction. One might even say to the bowels of our existence. So, the Tea Party is reaction to the actions of the Dems (and a bunch of RINOs). It's a bowel movement. The Tea Party seeks to expel a load of crap from the political alimentary system. Is it a coincidence their initials are T.P.?

Right Wing Humor is Service to Country

That's right, I actually mean posting  Right-Wing/ Conservative Humor and Satire is Service to Country. I'm retired Army, I know what that phrase means. I'll explain why I say that, but first a word to Eric.

Our friend Jump-Out hit the same wall as you about a year ago. He hasn't posted in all that time -that I'm aware of. It's a shame, the guy has talent. Eric, here's why you need to re-locate your gift of finding something a little funny in our dire times. Humor is a sharp edged tool in the fight to save our country. It allows one to say things in a way that can provoke, enlighten, inform, and motivate the reader.

Links to further info provide the "hard" news, while the post itself gives a break from the 2x4 across the head noise coming from the TV and radio.

I see Right Wing Political Humor as a suave to the wounds of the conservative psyche. We get out important (sometimes) information in a softer way. We are the kinder, gentler media. And is that not a service to our great nation? I sure think so.

Jihad For Jesus?

Call them what you will, Jihadist for Jesus, Holy Hoodlums, Divine Desperadoes, Old Testament Terrorist, or a Bible Brute Squad, these Huntaree Christian Militia members are pure Satanic Evil.

I'd sure like to ask them:

What were you thinking? Were you jealous because the Israelis and Muslims are getting all the press lately? Did God really whisper in your ear and say "Hey I got an idea, why don't you kill some cops for me? I'm kinda busy" ?

If you all absolutely had to be raving religious whack jobs, couldn't you have followed the example of the Jim Jones cult? Guyana Grape...mmm, mmm! Or maybe you could mix arsenic with wine, and suck-down some Michael Jackson inspired, Jesus Juice.

Regardless, you're all a bunch of treasonous, cowardly dumb asses. I hope you all get sent to General Population at Gitmo. Wouldn't that make a great reality show? It could run for years. Because despite Obama's Executive Order and promises, it's going to open for a long time.

I love finishing on a positive note

Is Harry Reid a Racist?

Harry Reid is a Racist?

In a new book called “Game Change”, -written Time and New York magazines reporters- something truly alarming was brought to light about Harry Reid. Must be pretty bad, because Reid ran out today to apologize. Seems he called Obama "light skinned" "with no Negro dialect". Apparently he made these remarks in private, during the 2008 presidential campaign. That's bad, isn't it?

“I deeply regret using such a poor choice of words,” said Reid in a statement. “I sincerely apologize for offending any and all Americans, especially African Americans for my improper comments.” 

If I said that, I'd be labeled a racist. Then again, I'm not a liberal. To prove my point, was then Senator Biden called a racist for saying about Barack,  “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

 

Yeah man, storybook. Biden didn't get called out either, in fact he got promoted. I rest my case. 

Underwear Bomber is Gay

So, this rich kid can't get chicks. He's a total loser, and figures the best thing he can do with his life is to off himself in a packed airliner, at Christmas. Yeah, I had a lot of friends in high school and college that felt the same way. Not.

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab isn't a name you'd give a kid if you wanted him to score with women. Still, he couldn't even get action in England, and according to the Austin Powers' flicks, they're easy. What's the deal? That's simple, he's gay, just like most terrorist are gay. What else would explain him sewing a six long inch sausage-like packet of the high explosive PETN into BVD's? He liked the feel of that package next to his, and he hoped it would go off. 

Next there was the liquid filled syringe. Play with it, and it ejects. Can you say Freudian? I'll bet he's going to be really popular in prison. And those disfiguring scars from the burns he sustained while trying to get his package off? Not to worry, his new friends won't be able to see 'em from behind.

Obama Won't Rest... or

Okay, okay. I think I'm starting to get it now. I mean, it's only been what, a year? President Barack Hussein Obama is kind of confused when it comes to pronouns. When he says "I" he means you. And when he says "we" he means those guys.

So when he comes off the golf course, or tennis court, or out of the gym or, or, or... to say   "We will not rest until we find all who were involved and hold them accountable." or "I promise you this: I won't rest until things get better."  or "..And I will not rest until businesses are investing again and businesses are hiring again and people have work again.” or "And I won’t rest until every American who wants a job can find one."  or “I will not rest until the dream of healthcare reform is achieved in the United States of America.”  what he really means is, "You'd better fix this while I rest, or under the bus you go".

Come on dude, give it a rest.

The rest of Les James' posts can be found a Global Warming Hoax & Lies at Mild Max, and Radioactive Liberty

I Don't Feel Funny And I Blame Obama

I know I haven't posted in a while and this isn't really what I would have liked to write. I don't feel funny. I mean that in more of a metaphysical sense. I may physically feel funny, but my wife has the good grace not to say so, if it's true.

This seems to be going around. As I have said before, I blame it on Obama. Everything is his fault. And why not? Is this not what we heard from the left over the last eight years about Bush? Now it's their turn to hear it.

My regular post at Radioactive Liberty has been far more sarcastic than humorous lately. I'm not sure when that will change. As for this little side project, this may be the last post for a while but who knows. I may soon find inspiration.

My co-writers have jumped ship and I can understand that. I'm sure they feel the same way. I've kind of given up on the experiment of offering a space for those who would like a place to post their own brand of humor. This may be a solo effort in the near future.

Well, that's about it. I wish you well in your efforts. Talk to you later.

Billy Mays Parody: Obama Coins That Stop Global Warming

by Les James

Billy Mays is at it again. This time he's promoting Obama Coins that stop global warming. Swing by Radioactive Liberty for full details.

Obama Bombs America At Radioactive Liberty

How far will Obama go to f-up our economy? Find out in my latest post, as Obama drops the F Bomb at Radioactive Liberty.

If you enjoyed this post, please let others know about it by heading to one of these fine sites or those listed in the sidebar.
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How Obama Will Fix The Jobs Market

Wondering how President Elect Barack Hussein Obama will make good on his promise for  five million new jobs? So is he. My post today at Conservative Political Humor & Satire by Radioactive Liberty looks at this issue. 

Les James: Holidays Gifts Post at Radioactive Liberty

Don't know what to get that liberal on your list? DemTools has a few holiday gift ideas. Pop over to Radioactive Liberty and shop 'til you drop. 
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Rappin' an Obama Christmas at Radioactive Liberty

My post this week at Radioactive Liberty shows why white guys shouldn't try to rap. Beastie Boys style lyrics and funny pictures rip-off the classic Night Before Christmas, Obama style. 
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Les James Post at Radioactive Liberty

Today, Les James Rages Against the Political Machine and tells why he's so Clusterphobic over at Political Humor & Satire by Radioactive Liberty. Don't forget to look right below at Mr Shizzo's latest post, All in the Family.

The Wizard Ozbama #8

Getting closer to the election now. Finally, we get to see the Wizard Ozbama.



If you missed any of this series, here they are:The Wizard Ozbama #1 #2, #3, #4, #5 ,#6, #7

See wants behind the curtain at Humor-Blogs.com
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Fiar: Interview With A Demon

Each month I ask a well know humor blogger over to have some fun by being interviewed as the character of their choice. Today my very special guest is a mentor and friend, Fiar from Conservative Humor & Satire by Radioactive Liberty.

Interview With A Demon

Les: Welcome back to the Les James Show. In studio today we have an unusual guest. His name is Uh'uhuh and he's a demon.

I actually know very little about Mr. Uh'uhuh since my producer just dropped him on me at the last second. I thought we where having Sandra Bullock as our guest today. Yeah I see you all laughing behind the glass over there. Very frikkin funny. Pulled a fast one on Les. But that's OK, I'm a professional. I can handle it.

So let's bring him in. The demon Uh'uhuh.

Jeeze, you're ugly! Someone bring a towel or something. No way are you going to plop that nasty looking bare keister on my new leather chair. Just stay right there until one of the laughing boys gets you something to park that thing on.

Now Mr. Uh'uhuh or can I call you Uh'? You're going to have to bend over and speak into the microphone. Oh good here's a towel. Go ahead and take a seat. But be careful with those cloven hooves, I just had the Brazilian Cherry floor refinished. So tell us a little bit about yourself.

Uh'uhuh: Well, I'm a demon that was spawned 47,000 years ago in a-

Les: That's great. Wait. Did you say 47,000 years? That's almost as long as Biden's been in the Senate. I kill myself. Anyway, we'll just jump into the meat of the matter.

Fiscal irresponsibility got us into a real mess. Which candidate do you see as being best prepared to get us out of the banking crisis, John McCain or Barack Obama?

Uh'uhuh: The way I see it, I'm never getting the respect that I deserve. All the other gods and demons have their worshipers, but never poor forgotten Uh'uhuh? People just don't realize how important I am.

Les: Yeah no respect, you and Rodney Dangerfield.

Well, it seems, once again, I've got a guest that's not interested in politics. The last one was the tasty lamb chop, Bo Beep. That sassy sheep herder could... Hang on. What's that smell? It's like rotten eggs. Damn, did you fart? Someone open a window.

What's that Steve? Brimstone? Oh, hell.

Fine just tell me why you are soooo important?

Uh'uhuh: Stupid human. I am the demon of indecisiveness. If you don't think that's evil, just think about that the next time that your wife can't decide which pants make her butt look less fat. They all look fat! Because her BUTT IS FAT!

Then you'll be late for that important dinner with your boss about that promotion. Then when you don't get the promotion and you get into a fight with your wife, kill her, bury her in the backyard and run to Mexico.

Think of me. Indecisiveness... Evil.

Les: Indecisiveness huh? Yeah I can see that. I can't decide which is worse, your butt ugly face or your stench. So tell me oh scary demon, what have you done for yourself?

Have you planned for you future? Do you have a secure pension, a well diversified 401(k)? Or are you just another leach on society that's expecting people like me to take care of you in your old age? Ah, hit the nail on the head. Your kind makes me sick.

Uh'uhuh: No, I don't have pension. I don't even have worshipers. Oh, all the other demons think they're so great with all their adoring acolytes. I almost had a cult once, but they couldn't decide whether to meet on Tuesdays or Wednesdays.

Like it freaking matters. I don't care what day of the week it is. Just worship me. I'm EEEEEEVIL!

Les: Whatever. Oh pity me, I don't have followers. Worship me I'm evil, he says. Yeah, I'll see if I can get around to that on Tuesday. No Wednesday. No Tuesday. You're pathetic, you know that?

No one really cares about your problems. Sniveling and whining about poor old me. It's apparent you're a product of you own bad decisions. You decided to be indecisive or most likely you didn't even do that. So what did you expect?

Uh'uhuh: I expected to have a little cult of my own like the other demons. And possibly a little praise from you here on this interview. What goes around comes around, you know, and mark my words, this will come back to haunt you.

May your putrid little country be plagued with an indecisive and incoherent leader in the upcoming election. May your...

Les: Blah, blah, blah…. Oh just frikkin bite me.

Uhuhuh: As you wish. *Chomp* I think that went well.


Humor bloggers! If this looked like fun from the outside, just think how much better it would be from the inside. If you'd like to play a character to be interviewed please contact me. We'll make it happen.

Humor-Blogs.com is as funny as hell. Go there and vote for this or other humorous blogs
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Donkeys, Elephants and Cows, Oh My

Today at Conservative Political Humor & Satire by Radioactive Liberty, I spin a little tale of the elephants, donkeys and cows. It's 2008 election satire where herbivorous go wild.

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Sarah Palin Must Die

A sick, satirical look at ourselves

A partisan Alaskan commission has found Sarah Palin guilty of influencing the firing of somebody in connection with not firing someone else. Burn her at the stake.

George Bush and Dick Cheney are guilty of lying to America about WMDs in Iraq. It's the chair for both of them. Along with their Cabinet, advisers and friends.

Congress is just plain guilty of so many things that they have to be lined up against the Potomac and gunned down like the traitors they are. This also takes care of McCain, Obama and Biden.

Thirty-one governors have let their states fall into financial ruin. Hang 'em high. The other 19 or 26, depending on who you believe, will if given the chance, so might as well hang them too.

The state legislatures were involved, draw and quarter them.

Mayors and city counselors across the country are irresponsible, if not criminal in someones mind. Slitting their throats is in order.

County commissions and all other non-military state and federal government employees are stooges. Off with their heads.

Military personal must be executed in order of rank, from the bottom up. Generals, being last, will swallow their sidearms.

The heads of all evil corporations (and they're all evil) have to fry in their mansions, while those who work for them must be rounded up and set ablaze in the high-rise office buildings and factories where they orchestrated their greedy rape of the earth.

Run all judges through with swords.

Price gouging shop and gas station owners and employees must play on the freeways.

Lawyers and used care salesmen are to be stoned by angry mops.

Police officers, firemen, the CIA, DEA, BATF, FBI, NCIS and all the rest of those initials will drink poison.

Wall Street and all other global financial centers must be nuked. The Cayman Islands and Switzerland have to included for good measure.

Anyone who has ever made a racial slur or has ever discriminated against anyone has to be clubbed until their brains spill.

Death by choking on large objects to all fags and to those who are intolerant of alternate life styles.

Wipe out Hollywood types and journalist through drownings.

Level the schools with the teachers still inside.

Planned Parenthood, all abortion clinics, adoption centers and right to life organizations and everyone of their members needs to put plastic bags over their heads and sit in corners. Just the people, not the buildings.

Torch the cities as they are the modern Sodoms and Gomorrahs of our time. Likewise destroy the rural areas as these people are feeble minded.

Next stake out all conservatives in the desert, followed by the liberals, followed by the apathetic.

Those who believe in evolution have to be made extinct and religious type are right behind them. They can go meet their gods.

Oh almost forgot bloggers. Actually, they should have been on the top of the list, right behind that power hungry, gun slinging, nasty, hockey mom

All that are left now are the children. They'll succumb to diseases, exposure, wild animals and hunger in a short period of time.

There, now we can all live in a perfect country.

Hello! Hello! Is anybody out there?

Humor-blogs.com is a lot funnier.

The Wizard Ozbama #7

You may want to shield the little ones' eyes this week. The Wizard Ozbama gets a little graphic at this point. Two weeks ago we saw Sarah Palin in a cameo role. This week Joe Biden flies in for a peak. Catch this series every Friday until the election.



Check out the first six: The Wizard Ozbama #1 #2, #3, #4, #5 ,#6

Like this or any other Sideshow Mirrors post? You can vote for them at humor-blogs.com