Tea Party Physics... kinda

The Tea Party is a movement, and movements require a force to move. I believe this force is the Democrat Party. And who best represents the Dems? Why Barack "The Hussein" Obama, of course.

This movement can be felt in our very cores. It's a gut reaction. One might even say to the bowels of our existence. So, the Tea Party is reaction to the actions of the Dems (and a bunch of RINOs). It's a bowel movement. The Tea Party seeks to expel a load of crap from the political alimentary system. Is it a coincidence their initials are T.P.?

"There's a Communist in the White House"

I wouldn't normally just post a video, but when I watched it, well.....you'll see. Enjoy.
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Palin vs. Oprah Behind The Scenes Exposed!

In an EXCLUSIVE story for Sideshow Mirrors; A behind the scenes exchange of words between former Governor Sarah Palin and talk show host Oprah Winfrey following their on air interview from Nov. 16, 2009, has been exposed by crack journalist Eric*! (*yes, it's just Eric, he's that good he only needs one name)


Oprah: So tell me Sarah, exactly who are you, because most of what we taped is pretty much vanilla ice cream.

Palin: Well Oprah, I'm just an every-day American woman trying to live the American dream the best way I know how while loving my family, my God, and my country, and doing my best to help other Americans live the same dream.

Opray: Do you really think you have a better picture of what is best for America than Barak Hussein Obama? Do you think you are more American than he is?

Palin: Well no one can really say for sure what is better Oprah, but I have brought with me a few things that I think are interesting: Here is a Certified copy of my Certificate of Live Birth signed by a doctor and witnesses; My complete school and college transcript history; My marriage license; My complete medical history; My application for a United States passport; My history of every vote, and the position I took on every issue while holding every office I have been elected to as a public servant; My license to carry a concealed weapon; My applications for hunting licenses, animal tags, and complete police records from every town in which I have lived; My lifetime membership card for the NRA; As well as a video tape of my entire life with testimony from every person I have ever known, met, stood next to, thought about, or seen in a dream. Oh, and an autographed copy of my book.

Oprah: That's all fine and pretty but, what makes you think you are more qualified to be President than Barak Hussein Obama?

Palin: Oprah, didn't you hear anything I just said?

Oprah: So you are refusing to answer the question?

Palin: You invited me here to interview me about my book. I haven't even run for President, but if I were to, I think I have the necessary qualifications.

Oprah: Book? What book? Are you kidding me? YOUR BOOK? Do you seriously think just coming on my show will get you in my book club? Don't you realize who I am? I'm the richest woman on the face of the earth! I can buy and sell you, like your ancestors used to mine! You must be kidding me to think you can come on MY show and not bow to me like Obama does to countries that black American minorities have overcome by their significant efforts! You are no longer in charge you ignorant white trash racist overproducing God loving radical! I have more money than the Queen of England! What I say goes! Get behind me. You cannot suppress me any longer because I'm better than you, I have more money! I am the new world order! You will follow my lead from now on because we now have a black President and he's going to change the way white people think! If you don't believe me, just look how he is going to tax all you super rich oppressors for not paying out your dues to us poor hard pressed unfortunate blacks that you have been treading on for centuries!

Palin: Um, Oprah, you do realize that you are in the tax bracket that will pay the most under Obamas plan, possibly as much as 100%, don't you?

Oprah: What?

Palin: You are in the top 1% of money makers, you will pay the highest rate without exemptions.

Oprah: Why that dirty no good mulatto wanna-be! He's not even a real black man! Who does he think he is? Doesn't he know who I am? I'm OPRAH!......


ed. There was more that Oprah had to say but personal decorum prevents me from reprinting it here. This has been an exclusive article for Slideshow Mirrors from Eric.

A previous interview by Eric with Russian President Andre Medvedev for Radioactive Liberty is available here.

Obama, "The buck stops with me"... again

"The buck stops with me." Now where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, March 18, 2009. That time it was about AIG executive bonuses.

Did the buck stop there? I don't think so. They just kept on a flowin'. So what makes us believe President Barack Hussein Obama means what he says now?

A few days before that he said, "The buck stops with me."  This time it was in a press conference about the financial crisis. That's worked out well.

He told us, at least eight different times during his campaign, he would have the health care debate on CSPAN. See what I mean? Can't trust him as far as we can throw him. Although I'm willing to try. 

Today the Chosen One stated, “The buck stops with me" when it comes to all that man-made disaster stuff and lone wolf guys with phallic shaped bombs in their panties. He also said something about accountability and being more interested in learning lessons then in blaming anyone, blah, blah, blah...

The buck stops... well maybe if it's buck shot. No, I didn't write that. It was George Bush. Yeah, let's blame him for this one too.

Shovel This

by Mr Shizzo

The words of "hope" coming out of Washington are, "Yes, we can," and "I screwed up."

And the "stimulus" package, which in reality is the "big government programs" package, is full of "shovel-ready" initiatives. No one mentioned that "shovel-ready" meant the shoveling of cash-dung into a hole in the ground.

So, we can all rest assured that, "we can all screw up."

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Rock Star!

You don't have to watch every single band play, every musician sing, and every Obama supporting celebrity in the audience smile on TV to get the essence of inauguration day. I just got back from another dimension and the 44th President was just sworn to office. Essentially, it was the same as ours, so I can give you the highlights and you can save yourself hours and hours of inaugural Obama TV watching. Basically, I can save you from a case of inaugural Obama burnout.

In the other dimension, the 44th President was a guy as popular as any rock 'n' roll star in history. Large crowds came to see him for every public appearance. On inauguration day, he was the final act after a huge list of other entertainment stars.

Except in this dimension, the 44th President did not pretend he was actually a politician. Everyone knew he was really just a rock star celebrity and that he was the final act. He said that the White House would be a staging ground for Woodstock III starting right after inauguration. And he said every pillar in the foundation of the White House was going to be filled up with an endless supply of soy milk for anyone to drink at any time.

He called himself the King and when his act finally came on, he sang, "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go! go! go!! Hey pretty mama!! I hope you'll like our show. I'll be singing this act for the next four years.

Don't change that channel. I'm hot. I'm just a rock star!"

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Martin Luther King Day Post At Radioactive Liberty

What's all the fuss about? On the eve of the crowning of King Obama, I reflect darkly on the another King.

Obamass: Christmas, Obama Style

Help celebrate a holiday with balls

Wow, it's that time of year again and I've been feeling like something is missing.  After a lot of contemplation and spinning in circles until I was dizzy with inspiration, I figured out just what that was. While I don't have all the details worked out,  I do have an outline, of sorts. It's not much but with your help, it can work. It's a project we can believe in.

With the arrival of the messiah (lower case m) should we not make adjustments to reflect the magnificence of the moment?  Now I'm not as clean and articulate as the chosen one, so don't expect too much but what I suggest is, that we celebrate his birthday on December 25th of each year.  Come on, that other guy has had it for over 2000 years, isn't it about time we shared?

Since there's doubt that Obama was even born in this country -his grandmother said she was there when he was born in Kenya (which is a lot closer to Bethlehem than Hawaii) - then it stands to reason that we wouldn't be all that sure of the date either.  His mother wasn't a virgin but she was a radical 60's liberal.  That's a lot better in many circles. The coincidences are uncanny.

I humbly submit a new name for that date.  In his honor, we should now and forevermore refer to December 25th as Obamass (emphasis on the second syllable).  It would still be a time of great giving as the deadline for filling taxes would now fall on the same day.

Other ideas keeping with the spirit of the season might include:

All gifts great and small would be taxed.  A windfall food tax would be incurred for any excessive feasting activities.  Carbon Footprint fines would be doubled for those traveling outside of prescribed boundaries during this time of celebration. Similar to fingerprints, Carbon Footprinting would be used to ID perps. The old adage that 'it's the thought that counts', would be taken to mean that you have considered purchasing a gift and, of course, would be taxed according by a percentage of your last tax return, on a upwardly sliding scale.

All of this gift revenue would go directly to the needy -and some of it to the poor.

I know there's so much more we can do but I've run out of ideas. 

Please help by adding suggestions as to how to make the first Obamass the standard by which all others will be judged.  I look forward to your input. Together, we can make a difference.

I encourage bloggers to use their forums to promote this blessed event.

Thank you and Merry Obamass!

Humor-blogs knows an Obamass when it sees one

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Snig: Mae West Interview

Today my very special guest is Snig.  She, for some unknown reason, has decided to play the role of Mae West.  For those of you who are too young to remember Mae, so sorry.  This is the next in a monthly series, where funny bloggers pick a role for me to "interview". So, what do you say? Shall we get on with it?

 
Les: Good evening, I'm Les James and this is my show. About once a month or so I do interviews with various characters. Yeah, I said characters. If you recall last month's, I was supposed to be having a dream date with Sandra Bullock, but instead my former producer and crew thought it would be funny to slip in this smelly ass demon. That SOB took a bite out of my left arm.

My new crew says I'm interviewing Mae West today. Yeah, right. I guess I'm posting on Craigslist tomorrow for another new crew. I hope you guys are going to be able to laugh about this in the unemployment line!

So, without further delay…this had better not be another demon! Let's welcome to the studio, Mae West.

Holy Mother of … it is Mae West! Miss West, I'm so sorry about the introduction. I never would have….

Mae West: If you would have come up to see me some time, I bet you would have. You know Les, I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

Les: Yeah I can see that. Are those things real? Can I touch 'em?

Mae West: Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. If you noticed, I have NOT given you a free hand.

Les: Fine, but maybe later? Sorry, you've got me a little flustered. Okay. For starters, you've been around the political and entertainment scene for a while. I don't mean to imply you're old… Ahhh, sorry, what I'm trying to say is, you're experienced… Oh, this isn't working. Give me a second...

There...better. Now, how about we get to my first question? I mean, this is an interview after all.

So Miss West, with this current economy, President elect Barack Hussein Obama is going to have his hands full when he takes office. What do you see as his top three strategic considerations for strengthening the dollar against the other major world currencies?

Mae West: Yes Les, I've been things and seen places...I've been in more laps than a napkin. No more comments on my experience, okay? As for Obama, yes I'm sure he already has his hands full. Have you seen that wife of his? Now that woman has the curves and I imagine he has a handful of them ever...oh, sorry.

I don't see him as having any strategic considerations. That man is nothing but promises and you know, I've always said an ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. I think we're going to be shorted our pound's worth.

Les: Finally a guest that's politically suave and hot to boot. Hey you guy behind the glass, you're looking at a raise and I don't just mean in my... Whoa! I forgot where I was. Ah, I've got some notes somewhere. Here they are.

Yeah. Next question. Mae, the economy is in the toilet and the Fed seems hell bent on toggling the handle. Congress has got a plunger in its hands, in case there's a blockage. To top it all off, the American people have just voted in a man with conscience of Jack Kevorkian. Do you think it's time to create or support a third party, as the Republicans are floating, face down, in the bowl too.

Mae West: Obama...oh his mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork. I don't know a lot about politics, but I recognize a good party man when I see one. Unfortunately, lately I've seen none.

Les: Interesting. You know I'm usually having a great time pissing off my guest about this time in the interview. But you're different. I don't want to upset you and this confuses me. I guess I should ask you another question. Let's see. Here's a good one. Iraq, should we pull out before we finish the job?

Mae West: Pull out before the job is finished? Have you been paying no attention to me? You.never.pull.out.early. Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly I always say.

Les: Wow. You fascinate me. You've got phenomenally firm....er, ah grasp of the situation. So ah...ah, I ah...mean...I was going to say..ah...I got nothin'. Forget the interview. Let's just blow this joint and head out on the town. What da ya say?

Mae West: Well now. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it, but a hard man is good to find. What?? I swear, if I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

Les: I'm trying!

Listen, I've never done this before with a guest. But I can't help myself. It's just that I'm reminded of what my Mom use to tell me, not that I listened to her all that much. She said "don't do anything stupid" and babe, you're not stupid. You want me. All women want me...some to stay away, that whole Bo Peep restraining order thing... Never mind that. I'm coming over there to plant a big, wet one on ya, 'cus I know it's what you need.

Mae West: Few men know how to kiss well and unfortunately, I don't have time to teach you. Got it? If you're not gettin' it, my five heavily diamonded friends are gonna give it to you across the nose.

Les: Now Mae...sweetie, you aren't really going to...

Mae West: Look pal, there are 10 men waiting for me at the door and I've already sent one of them home because I'm tired. Kiss this!

Les: Son of a... You really pack a helluva punch there lady.  But I gotta say, it was the best punch I've ever had. Wow! That's goin' to be sore for a while. Worth it, but sore. I guess we're out of time.  I'd like to do something else I never do and thank my guest Mae West.

Can I touch them now? Hey, put down that fist! Ohhh!

Fine, I don't think I'll be asking you that again.

I, um...I think that went...well.

Somebody get me some ice!

Hey bloggers! If this looks like something you'd like to do, please contact me. We'll make it happen.

Humor-blogs.com is a great cure for swelling.
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