Rock Star!

You don't have to watch every single band play, every musician sing, and every Obama supporting celebrity in the audience smile on TV to get the essence of inauguration day. I just got back from another dimension and the 44th President was just sworn to office. Essentially, it was the same as ours, so I can give you the highlights and you can save yourself hours and hours of inaugural Obama TV watching. Basically, I can save you from a case of inaugural Obama burnout.

In the other dimension, the 44th President was a guy as popular as any rock 'n' roll star in history. Large crowds came to see him for every public appearance. On inauguration day, he was the final act after a huge list of other entertainment stars.

Except in this dimension, the 44th President did not pretend he was actually a politician. Everyone knew he was really just a rock star celebrity and that he was the final act. He said that the White House would be a staging ground for Woodstock III starting right after inauguration. And he said every pillar in the foundation of the White House was going to be filled up with an endless supply of soy milk for anyone to drink at any time.

He called himself the King and when his act finally came on, he sang, "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go! go! go!! Hey pretty mama!! I hope you'll like our show. I'll be singing this act for the next four years.

Don't change that channel. I'm hot. I'm just a rock star!"

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