Job Hunting Satire

Welcome to Sure Happy It's Thursday© or S.H.I.T. Today is a dedicated to all of you who are looking for, or would like to look for different employment.


To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter to inform you of my decision to look for another job. I will be leaving immediately as the interview process is lengthy and it will take me away from this area for some time.

You may find it odd that I would do this, since I have only been employed here for a short period of time but I believe it’s been long enough to use on my resume. In fact, many of my fellow employees are backing me in this decision.

Luckily for me the people doing these interviews are not very bright. I know from what I’ve learned here and at my previous position, that I should be able to convince them to hire me over the far more experienced candidates.

While I am gone I expect to be paid in full for the job that I won’t be doing and retain my entire benefits package and all perks related to my position here. Further I expect to be given a glowing recommendation from the heads of this establishment.

It’s comforting to know that should I somehow fail to obtain the employment that I am seeking, that my office is waiting for me here.



Sincerely,




Senator Barack Hussein Obama


You won't find too many jobs but you will find funny listings at Humor-blogs.com

Crisis in Faith, Guest Post at RT's Ponderings

If My Bible Were a Club, You'd be Dead is a serious look at a crisis of faith within ranks of the American Conservative Christian. RT of RT's Ponderings allowed me to guest post this piece to remind so many of you that God is still in command and to stop your worrying about our current situation with our country's upcoming election, financial situation, and other events that touch our lives.

I will be adding links here to all bloggers who are supporting this effort through their own post. If you don't have a blog and want to contribute, please comment at RT's and tell your friends.

Bloggers who are willing to stand up:

You Should Be Tasered
Musings of a Vast Right-Winger

McCain/Obama Town Hall Debate

First off this was no debate nor was it a Town Hall meeting. That being said, I read between the lines and came up with the following conclusions. I'll keep this short, as it's getting late.

McCain wants the economy to be run like Ebay.

Obama wants to stop all lobbying. So I guess he won't be getting money from the FMs any longer.

McCain wants to buy my neighbors house that dropped in value and let them re-finance at that lesser value simply because they bought more house then they could afford while I have to continue to pay for my house at the price I bought it for and pay through my taxes for my neighbors house too. Try saying that in one breath.

Obama doesn't think the U.S. participated in WWII, at least in part, to stop the Holocaust .

McCain now refers to Obama as "that one," sort of like picking out perps in a line-up.

The rest of my comments have to do with Barrack Hussein Obama. Because I don't like him and this is my blog. Not that I have really have any great love for McCain but like I said, it's my blog.

The elected President Musharraf (who was kicked out of office) was a dictator.

If Pakistan can't or won't, Obama will go into that sovereign country to kill Obama, er I mean Osama bin Laden. So bin Laden is guilty, but if we capture him on the battle field he needs his Miranda Rights read to him, then given a fair trial before we kill him. Huh?

Obama's wife Michele knows more than he does.

If Iran develops the bomb it could fall into the hands of terrorist.

We can weaken Russia and Iran if we stop driving our cars.

Oh, and he wants to fix Medicare and Social Security in his first term.

So, what did you get out of their monumental exchange of ideas?

The Difference between Democrats and Rebublicans

Today over at Conservative Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty, the conclusion of my two part satirical look at The Real Differences Between Democrats and Republicans. If you've ever wondered what they might be, here's your chance to see them as those in the know do.

Barack Obama, In His Own Words

Quotes are funny things. When you lift them from a list, you have no idea what the context might have been. The following answers are straight out of the mouth of Barack Obama, I had to guess at the questions. I hope I wasn’t too far off.

Question: When your young children don’t mind what do you do? Put them on restriction, take away TV? How do you punish them?

Obama: I've got two daughters. 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby.

Question: Why should Americans support you when your administration would grow a bigger government, raise taxes and make the average Joe more dependent upon Washington, meaning they'll have to work a lot harder while having less money and freedom?

Obama: Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.

Question: I know you have a lot on your plate but what is the most pressing question in you life?

Obama: Why can't I just eat my waffle?

Question: What do you think of conservative talk radio?

Obama: We have real enemies in the world. These enemies must be found. They must be pursued and they must be defeated.

Question: If you suddenly could no longer be in government service what would you do with yourself?

Obama: With the changing economy, no one has lifetime employment. But community colleges provide lifetime employability.

Question: Do you have faith in Joe Biden to keep his mouth shut?

Obama: You know, my faith is one that admits some doubt.

Question: What do you see as the major difference between your presidential bid and that of the campaign ran by John Kerry?

Obama: John Kerry believes in an America where hard work is rewarded.

Question: Why do you want to be President?

Obama: Money is not the only answer, but it makes a difference..

Question: Why has your campaign turned to using negative ads?

Obama: In the end, that's what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism or a politics of hope?

Question: Sarah Palin has a down to earth, folksy way of speaking, of explaining the issues to the common people in a way they can understand . What's your approach?

Obama: Issues are never simple. One thing I’m proud of is that very rarely will you hear me simplify the issues.

Question: You’ve stated that Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure had a profound impact upon your life. Why?

Obama: We need to internalize this idea of excellence. Not many folks spend a lot of time trying to be excellent.

Question: If you could retract one statement that you’ve made during your campaign, what would it be?

Obama: Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Question: I understand you love chili and that you've been searching for that perfect bowl in each state that you visit. How’s many bowls before you've got them all?

Obama: Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go.

Question: Polls show Congress with single digit approval numbers. What do you see as the solution to reign in the childish behavior of you and your colleagues?

Obama: What Washington needs is adult supervision.

Question: Is there anything you'd like to add?

Obama: The fact that my 15 minutes of fame has extended a little longer than 15 minutes is somewhat surprising to me and completely baffling to my wife.

Question: Can we stop this now?

Obama: Yes we can!

In the words of Obama, People of Berlin - people of the world - this is our moment. This is our time. So click here and vote for the post you love.

Hot Sarah Palin Bikini and Pin-up Pictures

Do to the over-whelming demand for these Hot Sarah Palin pictures, I've created flickr account where you can see them all in one place. Later I will add a number of my other Little Photo Shop of Horrors favorites from this blog as well as those from my post at at Conservative Political Humor at Radioactive Liberty where the Palin bikini, French Maid and Wonder Woman pictures were first uncovered. Enjoy and keep those card and letters coming.

Bush Ask SPCA to Fix Banking Crisis

Bush attempts a last minute out-of-the-box solution to the Banking Crisis in this satirical parody of an AP news story by Les James. Get in on his latest suggestifacations for fixing our financial crisis by popping over to Conservative Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty.

The Wizard Ozbama #6

Gather up the kiddies. It's time for the next snapshot of that soon to be released remake of the classic Wizard of OZ. The Wizard Ozbama will appear here every Friday, like your paycheck, and disappear just as quickly. If you've missed any, click on the links below to see all of this exciting series. Last week the Right-Wing Witch made her appearance, this week the Wicked Witch of the Left is seen for the first time.
Check out the first five: The Wizard Ozbama #1 #2, #3, #4, #5

It not a Hollywood blockbuster but Humor-blogs has a lot of new releases. Please drop in and vote for your favorites.

Palin/Biden Debate: Joe Fails Math Test

Biden infers poverty wiped out in America.

Senator Joe Biden who has been in the Senate long enough to know basic facts about America, like population, really screwed up tonight in his debate with Sarah Palin.

Some would say he lied, others would say he exaggerates a wee bit now and then or just plain can't do simple math. I'll go with lied. He is a career politician after all.

For someone who aspires to the second highest office in the land, he sure has a hard time with things like facts, or at least keeping them straight.

Here's just the latest example of his inability to keep in touch with our country.

"The middle class under John McCain's tax proposals -- 100 million families, middle class families, households to be precise -- they got not a single change, they got not a single break in taxes."

While on the surface there may be some truth to this, the U.S. Census Bureau gave the total population of the United States as 301,139,947 in July 2007. So, let's do a little simple math. A family or household could be as little as two. But let's assume a more realistic, albeit conservative, number of about three. Three times one hundred million = three hundred million.

That would only leave an estimated 1,139,947 people in America (as of 2007 figures) that are poor or wealthy. I would have to say, without even checking that well over one million people in this country are wealthy-over $250,000 a year income. That only leaves a maximum of 139,947 poor. Compared to over three hundred million, that's a very small number.

So, if we take Biden at his word, poverty has been eliminated in America. This is truly a glorious day. Oh, but I just remember, he's a career politician. Never mind.

Army Stories: Smoking Can Be Hazardous

Many years ago in a nasty land far away, I was held against my will in a place called Fort Bliss, Texas. Generally medics are well respected and sometimes even liked, but not always. This is the story of a man at that armpit of a place who didn't like medics. A man who did bad things to them. I know, because I was one.

Our Headquarters Battery First Sergeant was the mean man of whom I spoke. For some reason he didn't like the medical squad I was assigned to. I think he might of had a bad encounter with one at some time in his career. Maybe he was once married to a medic. I didn't know or care and it really didn't matter. The point is, that he went out of his way to make life very difficult for us.

I won't go into the details to all the rather cruel things he did, but suffice it to say that after a year or so of his abuse, I'd had enough.

Several times a year I was sent out to medically cover the 'gas chamber'. This is where students are subjected to the effects of CS (tear) gas. The scenario differs from place to place but the results are the same.

The students, wearing protective masks, are lead into a small building or room where the gas is present. They get a chance to see that a properly fitted mask will protect them from what ever is in the air. Then they have to take it off.

It's actually kind of fun to watch them running blindingly out the far door, tears in their eyes and snot running freely from their noses. I've been gassed on several occasions and should be more sympathetic, but it really is hilarious.



This particular tear gas can either be burned or just sprinkled on the floor. Walking around on it, kicks it up into the air and the desired effect is achieved.

One day I hung around after everyone else was gone. The door to the gas chamber was never locked, why bother. So I put on my mask and gathered up some of the loose powder on the floor. I put it in a plastic bag -for later use.

Smoking was still permitted in government buildings at that time, and my First Sergeant loved to smoke. A few days later I had the chance to exact revenge. When no one was around, I dumped the pilfered tear gas into his almost full ash tray. When he put out his next cigarette, the power ignited and filled his office with choking fumes.

That next morning, at our first formation, he mentioned the incident. While he had no proof as to who did it, he stared at the medics.

The harassment didn't end but it did lessen. I guess he didn't really want to find out what someone might have had planned for next the time. Let's just say that he loved his coffee too and some laxatives are all but tasteless.


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