Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Election 2008: The Morning After



Obama singing softly to himself:

“I’m half white
But that’s alright
Because I say
It’s not that way

They can’t attack
Because I’m black…”

He sees his running mate entering the room and stops.

Scrappy Joe walks into a makeshift office, stepping over passed-out sycophants and wading through ankle deep party refuse. Someone groans, pukes and then is silent.

Biden, a little sickened by the scene, makes his way toward Obama.

Biden: “Well, Barack we pulled it off.”

Obama: “What?”

Biden: “ I said…”

Obama: “I heard what you said. You used my first name.”

Biden: “Yeah…”

Obama: “Who the hell do you think you are? I’m Mr. President to you, there sen-a-tor.”

Biden: “Yeah funny. Now can we get down to…”

Obama: “Guards!”

Pause. Biden looks around.

Obama: “Guards!”

A Secret Service agent pokes his head in: “Yes sir, you needed something?”

Obama: “Damn right I do. Take this man to the dungeon and slap him in irons!”

Secret Service agent: “Ah,we're in a hotel sir…they, er…don’t have a, ah, dungeon.”

Waving a dismissive hand at the agent, “Fine. Go away.” Looking at Biden, “You’re lucky I’m in a compassionate mood. I could have you shot.”

Biden just stares

Obama: “First order of business. Send a dozen black roses with a card saying 'So sorry for you loss' over to McLoser’s place.”

Biden’s mouth starts to open but stops half way.

Obama: “Next, I want the Palins to wake up tomorrow morning with a bloody moose head in their bed. That should send a clear enough signal to stay up there in that frozen wasteland.”

Biden’s mouth drops the rest of the way open.

Obama: “You getting all of this?”

Biden nods, dumbfounded, which is a first for him.

Obama: “After that, get Reid, Pelosi and Supremes over here for a chat. They need to know who they work for now. Oh, and get the Constitution and someone who can do calligraphy, there are a few changes I want to make. And then….”

Biden moans, “What have we done?”

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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Supremes: Stop! In the name of love befo...

Obama: Shut up bitches! *raises pimp hand* I meant the supreme court justices! Biden is so dead.

Les James said...

Good line! Leave it to you to take things that one step beyond.

There will be no mercy shown here for the Socialist and his vile political spawn.

I suspect even the MSMs will have a hard time covering his ass after about a year in office.

Anonymous said...

Haha.
Power corrupts, absolutely.
I like the dead moose line.

Anonymous said...

"I suspect even the MSMs will have a hard time covering his ass after about a year in office."

I don't know they did pretty good covering for Bill Clinton.

Anonymous said...

A good friend of mine once told me, you never know the limits of your power until you exceed them.

He also said you should do something to piss off your boss at least once a week, and never pass up a chance to buy a chocolate Yoohoo.

I'm not sure what any of this means except that maybe I run with a bad crowd.

Les James said...

Mr Shizzo - Nice to hear from you. When you going to send me your next post. No pressure mind you.

Chris - Hey yesterday was fun, we should do it again in four years. but come on, even they got sloppy after a while and couldn't resist the cigar and blue dress. This guy is going to cause no end to the difficulties.

Jumpout- OK?

Anonymous said...

That was supposed to be a comment regarding leaving it to me to go one step beyond. The rest was useless rambling.

Either that or I'm that guy that people can't have a conversation around because he always tries to one-up everybody else.

Insolublog said...

Now that was funny. Guards!...

Les James said...

JO -Whatever

Insol -Thank you, sir.