Friday, December 18, 2009

Global Warming Fix is Horse Shit

Co-written by Les James and our new humorist, L Ron Jeremy. We think he's going to be big.


Obama invites a Teabagging Redneck over for a Bud. They sit in the Rose Garden at the White House.

Obama: "Thank you for excepting my invitation."

Teabagging Redneck: "If having the Secret Service break down my door at 2 AM, handcuff me and drag me here in my briefs constitutes an invitation, then your welcome."

They sip at their beers for a few minutes. Obama puts his down and reaches into his coat pocket. He pulls out a tin of Copenhagen Smokeless Tobacco and offers some to the redneck.

Obama: "Try Some. Just a pinch between your cheek and gum, and all your global warming problems melt away.”

Teabagging Redneck: “The irony of that statement wasn’t lost on me. I’ll tell you Mr. President, I’ve got about 100 Billion reasons not to do this, but in the Spirit of D├ętente, what the hell.” He takes a pinch and places it in his mouth. His face turns bright red.

Obama: "Good isn’t it?"

Teabagging Redneck: "Oh my fuc…!" Gagging "This taste like Horse Shit!"

Obama: "Clydesdale actually. Goes well with the beer."

Teabagging Redneck: “What!” Desperately looking for somewhere to spit it out.

Obama: “Now don’t you go ruining Michele’s roses. You going to have to swallow it.”

Teabagging Redneck: “Huh?”

Obama: “You heard me. It’s your patriotic duty. Everyone’s going to have to learn to. So, swallow it.”

Teabagging Redneck: He chokes it down. “Ahggg! I think I’m going to be sick.”

Obama: “Don’t get sick yet. You’ve got to pay tax outrageous taxes for four years before you get any Obama Care benefits.”

Teabagging Redneck: “I need a bucket or something.”

Obama: “Well, you’re not getting the one on my head.” Obama looks at the redneck with disgust. “I never should have started you off on the good shit. It’s an acquired taste you know.”

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