For a couple of weeks, I have been mulling over whether or not I should go public with my secret. Don't get me wrong. I don't like to be a party-pooper. But, the truth drove me so crazy that I finally decided to come out with it, if not for my own sanity, but for the sake of our great nation.When I went down in my basement a month ago, I encountered Michelle Obama in a dark corner. She scared the life out of me. I started to pant and ran back up to the kitchen. I wasn't sure what to do. But, now I am the one that has to come out of the dark. I must let everyone know the truth that Michelle Obama is a Black Widow and this has to get out to the public before she moves from my basement to the White House. I am not crazy and I know that I have to have proof. So, here are some photos.
I wish it were not true. But, I am the only one that knows. And believe me, I am still trying to put all of the pieces together. After all, if I am right, and I know that I am right, it means that Michelle Obama mates and then she kills. I have many questions and I can still hear her rustling in my basement sometimes. The road is dangerous, but I am driven to find the truth. I have placed some surveillance and tracking devices in her belongings. If my warnings here to you go ignored, I will continue to watch her. In the interest of our country, it is my patriotic duty. I do not doubt that once she moves into the White House, I will be targeted and harassed by the powers that be. So, I will keep a low profile and periodically keep you updated.
Signed,
3 comments:
Your best yet!
I'm buying Industrial Strength Raid! in great quantities now. I'd never made the connection, so thanks Mr. Shizzo for opening my eyes.
That was originally funny! Satire is so fun sometimes.
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