Contact was made with various officials concerning the clean up as well as illegal immigration.
Sideshowmirrors reporter Eric obtained exclusive interviews with 3 key figures in these two related stories.
The first interview was with the founder of Islam, Mohammed, in the ninth circle of Hell. (don't ask how I got there) His answers are somewhat garbled as his flesh was "torn from the chin throughout down to the hinder passage", and he was dragging his entrails underfoot.
Asking 2 questions about Islam being the religion of peace, and illegal immigration he responded;
"Now mark how I do rip me: lo! How is Mohammed mangled: before me walks Ali weeping," I suppose this as valid an answer as he could manage under the circumstances. Satan was unavailable for comment on the situation concerning the status of Mohammed. Here is a photo of the interview.(standing next to me is Hell tour guide and general escort Virgil)
The other interviews were conducted outside the San Dimas Circle-K with these two excellent dudes.
From 1998 Oats Military Academy in Alaska graduate, Wyld Stallyns co-founder, and current San Dimas Chief of Police - Ted Theodore Logan -
When asked about the religion of peace and illegal aliens Chief Logan responded;
"All we are is dust in the wind dude." and; "PARTY ON DUDES!" I suppose 10 years in Oats may have had a somewhat unfortunate effect.
Best of the interviews was the most excellent other co-founder of Wyld Stallyns, and current 14 term San Dimas Progressive platform Mayor - Bill S. Preston Esq. -
When asked the same two questions, Mayor Preston responded;
"Be excellent to each other", and; "Arizona can pack more illegals in a van than he and Ted could historical figures in a phone booth, and to him that earns them an A+, dude." He didn't recall seeing Mohammed on their Bogus Journey to Hell, but he asked me to pass on the Progressive message of Change and Hope.
Note: I didn't actually go to Hell for the Mohammed interview. The comments in "quotation" concerning Mohammed are taken directly from Devine Comedy by Dante Alighieri, Canto XXVIII.
2 comments:
A most excellent post dude, except you didn't really go to hell. Here I thought you'd finally acted on all those request.
I was going to post for "mock mohammed in comedy day" but I actually planned ahead and posted this. Too bad I couldn't draw more attention here. I had thought that visiting M in hell, where he belongs as a false prophet, would draw some traffic. Oh well.
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