Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Religion of Peace Saves Kalifornistan

The true religion of peace (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) fanned out over Kalifornistan during the previous weekend with 70,000 volunteers including their children to clean areas, pick-up trash, and paint fences and parking curbs that have been neglected by state crews due to the Marxism induced budget shortfalls in the Socialist state.

Contact was made with various officials concerning the clean up as well as illegal immigration.

Sideshowmirrors reporter Eric obtained exclusive interviews with 3 key figures in these two related stories.

The first interview was with the founder of Islam, Mohammed, in the ninth circle of Hell. (don't ask how I got there) His answers are somewhat garbled as his flesh was "torn from the chin throughout down to the hinder passage", and he was dragging his entrails underfoot.

Asking 2 questions about Islam being the religion of peace, and illegal immigration he responded;
"Now mark how I do rip me: lo! How is Mohammed mangled: before me walks Ali weeping," I suppose this as valid an answer as he could manage under the circumstances. Satan was unavailable for comment on the situation concerning the status of Mohammed. Here is a photo of the interview.(standing next to me is Hell tour guide and general escort Virgil)

The other interviews were conducted outside the San Dimas Circle-K with these two excellent dudes.

From 1998 Oats Military Academy in Alaska graduate, Wyld Stallyns co-founder, and current San Dimas Chief of Police - Ted Theodore Logan -

When asked about the religion of peace and illegal aliens Chief Logan responded;
"All we are is dust in the wind dude." and; "PARTY ON DUDES!" I suppose 10 years in Oats may have had a somewhat unfortunate effect.

Best of the interviews was the most excellent other co-founder of Wyld Stallyns, and current 14 term San Dimas Progressive platform Mayor - Bill S. Preston Esq. -

When asked the same two questions, Mayor Preston responded;
"Be excellent to each other", and; "Arizona can pack more illegals in a van than he and Ted could historical figures in a phone booth, and to him that earns them an A+, dude." He didn't recall seeing Mohammed on their Bogus Journey to Hell, but he asked me to pass on the Progressive message of Change and Hope.

Note: I didn't actually go to Hell for the Mohammed interview. The comments in "quotation" concerning Mohammed are taken directly from Devine Comedy by Dante Alighieri, Canto XXVIII.


Les James said...

A most excellent post dude, except you didn't really go to hell. Here I thought you'd finally acted on all those request.

Eric said...

I was going to post for "mock mohammed in comedy day" but I actually planned ahead and posted this. Too bad I couldn't draw more attention here. I had thought that visiting M in hell, where he belongs as a false prophet, would draw some traffic. Oh well.