Tower Kid Appointed As Czar Against Republican Input! (CARI)

Sideshow Mirror Exclusive Access Report (SMEAR) journalist Eric has created this story that the recently exposed minor who had allegedly called out instructions to aircraft from the tower at John F. Kennedy International Airport, known only here as Harry, has been offered a non-vetted, executive level, appointment in President Barak Hussein Obama's cabinet as the newly created Czar Against Republican Input, with specific instructions to rally House and Senate members to support the President's agenda, regardless of the cost to their own careers.

SMEAR journalist Eric spoke with a former member of the Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization who had been fired in 1981 by former President Ronald Reagan. The former PATCO member refused to be identified because he wasn't a real person, however, he did mention the minor who allegedly spoke from the tower at JFK.

"He's my grandson, and I'm proud of the success he and my family have achieved."

He also expressed hope, after facing the last 30 years of being bitter about losing his high paying government job that never returned, because the evil Republican regime which had been in control of the government, was no longer in favor.

"I've spent the last 30 years digging ditches and greeting shoppers for pennies and I am certified to do the very job my grandson did (allegedly) perfectly, with absolutely no training. Where's the justice in that? My family never had a chance after those dirty right wingers illegally disbanded our union".

He continued, expressing his happiness that the new union in charge of air traffic controllers, the National Air Traffic Controllers Association, had overcome the efforts of the vast right wing conspiring to keep minority, poorly educated, and unmotivated individuals from receiving high paying, union backed, government guaranteed jobs like the one he used to have through affirmative action.

"Finally, with Obama, the Democratic controlled Congress, and NATCA, the change has come and those money grabbing rednecks aren't in charge. Real people are in control now and life couldn't be better".

In closing, he spoke briefly about a belief in reparations, which he feels he may be owed.

"Someone owes me, and I hope to be collecting Obama money soon".

No word has been heard from the newly appointed Czar Harry-CARI, on his objectives. His single mother could be heard speaking loudly with him in the Secret Service vehicle on the tarmac at JFK as it awaited the arrival of Air Force One, apparently for direct transportation to Washington D.C. and presumably the White House, earlier this week.

An unofficial statement from a lobbyist for NATCA reveals that the action the President has taken is adequate for its members to continue to support the President.

No word has come from the FAA on planned actions for the alleged incident at JFK concerning the newly appointed Czar, prior to, or after, any appointment. All records have been officially sealed from all eyes by the Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano.

A memo, of which no copy could be obtained, is reported to have gone out from the office of the President stating that all future questions from Congress about the health care bill, or other issues, should be directed immediately for action to Harry-CARI for responses.

I personally stood outside Blair House and could hear muffled sobs emitting from a window as several Secret Service agents gathered beneath it quietly snickering. There was no response from the Vice President after knocking at the front door.

No word has been heard from members of Congress, apparently they are not concerned.

This is SMEAR journalist Eric signing out until the next story can be created.